


Shawarma  After a little battle not a giant one

by Katerobber



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Food, Gen, Humor, Large amounts of food, Mjolnir - Freeform, One Shot, Sarcasm, Shawarma, Slight Science Bros, Sprite, ignoring age of ultron, naive thor, restraunt, soda debate, stark-asm, superhuman eating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 21:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4196292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katerobber/pseuds/Katerobber
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eating when everyones not high on adrenaline makes a huge difference. Tony learns this the hard way when coke is on the ceiling and Barton is perching. Oh and there's a soda debate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shawarma  After a little battle not a giant one

Something tony had always wondered another was how he even ate in public with his team. Really the avengers could win any contest involving food including mess making, hands down. But Tony only learned this after they were in a shawarma restaurant not after a giant battle just a little one.The roasted meat made for a good story but a rather disaster lunch. 

"Hey stark what is shawarma?" Clint was perched on the back on his chair. He had sat still for about two minutes before climbing up and sitting right down on the top while putting his feet in the actual seat part. 

"I think it's something to do with meat." Tony waved a hand in the air flippantly. 

"Is it one of the great wild boar?" Thor thundered. 

"Inside voice there buddy, and I don't think so." Tony pulled open a menu. "Apparently it can also be made with chicken and this place also offers vegetation. Sorry no birdseed though Barton." 

Clint made a rather unattractive face and picked up his own menu nearly knocking the chair over in the process. Thor also went to grab a menu and knocked his weapon onto the floor. The tile cracked and he made a face like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. Tony was shaking Bruce awake as this happened and Natasha had pulled a minuscule knife from some where and was filing her fingernails. 

This was how the waitress found them.

"Um is there, is there anything I can get you?" She stuttered. Immediately the chaos subsided a bit. Clint gave a soft smile, Natasha put the knife up her sleeve, Thor straightened and Tony gave a Stark smile while Bruce finally came awake. 

"Yes," Tony spoke first, "I'd like some of your beef shawarma with a side salad and coke." He then folded the menu and handed it to her. 

She took it wordlessly. "I'll take anything vegetarian." Bruce mumbled sleepily. His eyelashes flickered as she looked him over. "Two servings of it." She nodded to him even as he faded. She scooped the menu up for him. 

Natasha spoke next, "I'll take a chicken shawarma with salad and a lemonade please." She smiled but it was just a bit offset by the glint of a blade from her pocket as she also handed over the list of food. The waitress scribbled that down on their increasing order with minimal fear on her face.

"My fair maiden," Thor boomed, "do you have any roast wild boar?" She blinked a couple times. 

"Thor we just talked about this, she doesn't have any boar. He'll have a coke and four plates of beef shawarma." Her eyes widened at the order and she stuttered again.

"Sir you know that our portion sizes happen to be fairly large?" 

"He can take it, trust me." He flashed her with another shining smile while passing over another menu.

"Cap I think your up." Tony directed away from Thor.

"Um uh yes I'll take the same as him but with sprite." He blushed deeply as he ordered and the waitress almost looked relieved at his normality then was hit by the size of his order. She wrote it down diligently anyway and took his offering of the menu.

"Looks like I'm last," Clint rocked the chair. The serving girl looked shocked to be suddenly face to face with a guy wearing purple sunglasses inside. "I'll have two chicken shawarmas and a moxie." 

She simply scratched it down and picked up the last menu. "Will that be all?" 

"Yeah we're good." Tony answered. She walked away avoiding Thor's forgotten hammer. They all heard her relaying the order to the cook in a rather fascinated and nervous voice. 

"So Steve," Tony broke the silence in his fashion, "I didn't take you for a soda guy." 

"I just kinda picked." Steve shrugged. 

"But sprite? That's like the lamest soda ever." 

Steve shrugged again. "They didn't have Serra mist." 

Tony threw his hands in the air. "One of theses days I'm going to talk you into real soda and then you'll realize how right I am." 

"Just keep trying stark," Clint threw in, "sprite is pretty addicting." 

Natasha nodded along with him. 

"That's it. Im throwing a mandatory soda party. Then you have to try what real carbonated drinks are like." Tony nodded to himself. 

"Carbon?" Bruce questioned sleepily. 

"Not that type Dr Jekyll." Tony patted his science bros arm. 

"What are these sprites you speak of. Are they the forest dwellers who live to protect the valiant and kill the cowardly." Thor pounded the table. Somehow it only wobbled but still stood. 

"Not quite, all that sprite in this realm kills is your taste buds." Tony said. 

"No" Clint punched the inventors arm from his perch. "It's totally awesome, it's got bubbles," 

"Carbonation" Tony butted in. 

"Whatever and it tastes like sweet lime and lemon. Well sorta." 

"I have to agree with Clint on this one." Steve declared. 

"Thanks spangles." Tony snarked. 

"Guys the foods here." Natasha interrupted calmly. 

Sure enough two other girls had joined the waitress and they were balancing the combination of plates between the three of them. Somehow they kept the orders straight and the food was distributed perfectly albeit with some anxious shaking. 

"Thank you" Steve called as they scurried away. 

"Dig in" Tony announced, the soda debate cast aside for the moment. Those words were proven very true though in seconds. 

Bruce basically startled awake and grabbed a fork. He began shoving vegetables into his mouth. 

Steve tried to be polite but as soon as the taste of food hit his tongue the super soldier metabolism kicked in and he wolfed it. 

Clint ate like he hadn't seen food in weeks and practically inhaled it. Tony had never seen any normal human make it disappear that fast. 

Thor was on his own plane. He ate like a crazed bear and was done with his first plate by the time Natasha had finished a forth of hers. 

She was the only other teammate in normal, human eating range. She ate with her fork and table knife until a crouton made her mad and she stabbed it with her other sleeve blade. He was only a tiny bit scared by that at that point. 

He thought he at least was going steady. One out of six wasn't bad. But who was he kidding. The avengers main flaw was eating like a pack of hyenas.

Surprisingly Steve was done first. He had thought Thor would be the first one but he was still fighting with the tab on the coke. 

Bruce came in second his hulk energy allowing him to eat like he went off the deep end. Tony never knew that vegetables could be eaten so fast. 

Speed brought him back to Clint though. It had to be a record for a not genetically enhanced or changed person to pack that much away in ten minutes. He was also currently tied with Bruce on most mess as well. He had it everywhere but he wasn't asleep with it in his mouth and on his teeth.

Thor finally opened the soda can and was sprayed smack in the face. The scary part was that he screamed "again" Afterwards and licked it off his fingers. He Would have licked it off the ceiling if Tony as let him and he could reach. He won the award for messiest after that. (Clint and Bruce tied for second) 

Shockingly Tony ate neater than Natasha. For someone with elegance in most things she speared a few too many crotons and they shattered across the table. 

So it was Learned that earths mightiest heroes weren't the best at table manners and Tony had to start leaving hundreds of dollars in tips but at least some of the security footage from these outings was good. And the owners of the shawarma restaurant never got coke off their ceiling.


End file.
